G.E. is so green they used a handsaw to kill a tree.

Jack Donaghey, Liz Lemon, Tracy Jordan and the 30 Rock writers must have gotten to Al Roker’s teleprompter tonight at the Winter Roker-Rockafeller Fest. Otherwise, what the hell was Al Roker talking about? Let me get this right, its NBC’s Rockafeller Tree Lighting ceremony, and Roker says something like, “We used a handsaw to cut the tree down to save energy”

I expected to see a cutaway to the editing control truck. Inside are Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, and Tracy Morgan. High-fiving. But that never happened. Roker then bragged about 32 Million trees being cut down.

I didn’t want to waste energy by using the Tivo remote, so I got up and turned the TV off manualy with my middle finger.

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Sean Taylor Murdered

Devin Hester is the master of returns. But even he cant return Sean Taylor. Is that a sick joke? I cant even tell. Its a defense mechanism that takes over when my pain and anger redline. I got too many questions and no answers.

The media is gonna shape the story into a storyline. Thats their job. Im not gonna pretend that I have known Sean Taylor the man. All I know is the football player. As fanatics we learn who these kids are. High school football is an industry in Dade and Broward county. Its no secret that just about all of college football wants Florida high school ballers on their rosters, NFL too. Some of these kids are bonafide stars while they are in high school.

Sean Taylor was a phenom at Guliver Prep school, an ultra-exclusive private school. It was a big deal when he signed to play for the Canes. From the moment he took his first step onto a football field as a Cane he gave fans the genuine feeling that Superman had arrived, and was here to save the day. The first thing you noticed about Sean on the field was that he was bigger and faster than anybody else out there. It was that obvious. Your eye didnt have to wander too long to find Sean Taylor.

Sean helped the Canes win back to back2back National Titles in 2001 and 2002. A half blind lettuce farmer from Oklahoma stole the 2002 National Championship and gave it to Maurice Clarret, another national superstar high school football phenom. During regulation Sean Taylor intercepted a Buckeye pass, and while returning it, Clarret grabbed for the football. FREEZE action.

Taylor and Clarret are locked up. there are four arms wrapped around the football. This is the greatest champion game in the modern cable era.

SOUND FX (heartbeat) Sound

Action resumes, and Clarret rips the ball away from Sean Taylor recovering it for the Buckeyes. Last week we all thought Maurice Clarret was the biggest loser to have played in that game. Everybody else that started the Fixedesta Bowl went to the NFL. Everybody.

The biggest loser was Sean Taylor. He’s lost his life. Clarret is still with us. And thats the ultimate lesson here. The 2002 National Championship aint really that big of a deal when you really think about. So what if that stupid lettuce farmer’s four second late flag ruined a 34 game winning streak, an undefeated coaching record, and a title defense. Things can be worse, like lying in bed with your woman and somebody breaks in your house and try to shoot your penis, but misses and hits femoral artery and you bleed out.

Got it? Make each day count. If you think everthing sucks, and you are hurting or down and out, maybe you are a Dolphins fan, whatever it is. Its not as bad as being dead. When you are as low as you can get. Toredown. Level with the ground. Do what your Great Uncle Mike Irvin the Hall of Famer said to do.

Look Up, Get Up, and Dont Ever Give Up.

Sean Taylor we miss U.

What Happened to College Football in 2007?

Lets go back to the begining of the year, USC was hemoraging talent because it had too much. You blink, and some team called South Florida is screaming they are gonna win the National Title. The Miami Hurricanes suck, Notre Dame really sucks, Michigan loses to a div1aa school. Some team from Oregone starts yelling ring sizes. Ohio State gets Zooked. LSU gets Nuttered. Florida v Florida state is impotent.

What happened? Who ruined college football? Comments welcome.

SOUTH BEACH WHIPLASH

south beach whiplash

Ashley loves Mariska

mariska-hargitay-picture-1.jpg

I admire Mariska because, aside from her outer beauty, she has a beautiful soul. She has spent much time and energy as a Founder and President of a non-profit organization to aid the victims of rape. Some of her other accomplishments are: First woman ever from the Law and Order franchise to receive award nominations and wins, One of People Magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People, and won the Miss Beverly Hills 1982 pagent.She earned several award nominations in the shows first year, including Best Actress from the Viewers for Quality Television and Best Performance by an Actress in a Drama Series from the International Press Academy. She also established her own charity, Spirit of the Dolphin, which gives abused children the chance to swim with dolphins in Hawaii.

She has confidence that shines from inside which makes her someone that i would love to spend time with. I feel i could learn a lot from her. When people are given amazing opportunities in life, and use them to help others and inspire, then they have truly succeeded. It is easy to get caught up in ones own self in the entertainment industry, so when we see someone steer clear from the Hollywood riff raff, it deserves to be applauded. In June 1967 she and her two brothers were asleep in the back seat of a car when it smashed into the back of a trailer truck instantly killing her mother Jayne Mansfield. Miraculously, the three children escaped with minor bruises. Loosing a parent could affect one in many ways sometimes for the worst, But Mariska took it and utilized her loss in a positive way. She reaches out to young girls both through her characters and in real life through her website. She is an empowering outlet for young girls who are in need of guidance. She is a woman who was put here to inspire, and she has inspired me in more ways then one. I would love the opportunity to meet her and applaud her for being the beautiful soul she is!

Ashley “baby bird” Marks

Who Cares About the Writer’s Strike…Nobody.

A friend recently told me that “the people” are behind the writers only getting 4 cents on DVD profits, and I asked Who are “the people”? Nobody cares. Sure if you push poll you can get answers but nobody outside of Hollywood cares. And when TV does get so bad that they do begin to understand, they still wont care and they will go other places to be entertained.

The Major Networks all flow in 6 – 7 minute chunks of entertainment, then a commercial break, then 7 more minutes of entertainment. If the strike goes on and on, they are gonna losing eyeballs like kids with Daisy BB Guns. Some Youtubers will make good content and “the people” will watch that instead of wing-it TV.

Then what? Long term, DVDs are dead. I want to talk about it. I bring it up at work and nobody has an opinion. These are fools that are making TV shows that dont even care. A few of the young film school grad PA’s care cause they are young and wide eyed and reading the trades and trying to be plugged in.

Join the third party. I relish wandering eyes and mouses to click on my videos. My homeboy Jeff from my fishing videos is a Star now. He cant go to a Boat Show Convention or Fishing EXPO or Bass Pro Shops down here without people recognizing him. “Hey, you are that guy, Captain Jeff. I watch your videos on Youtube all the time!”

350,000+ views on just Youtube. The videos have been jacked to websites all over the world. I can understand the arrogance of the Studios to ignore the third party of content providers. We were Time’s Man of the Year though godammit. The writers are fighting this battle with horse blinders on. In other words, right now couldnt be a worse time to fight this battle. Both sides are gonna lose big time.