FIDO – MOVIE REVIEW

Let me start off by saying that I take zombies seriously and this film doesn’t take cellular reanimation seriously.  What do Zombies do? They come back to life and they eat people or brains to remain reanimated. So when a zombie film fails to answer basic questions like what and why, we are left with pseudo zombies like the ones in 28 Days Later, Resident Evil that are just undead for the sake of melodrama.  Everyone told me I had to see Fido. As a non zombie film its a cute movie, very clever, but lets be honest, its more closely related to George and Lenny from Mice and Men, then it is to George Romero, and its just not for me.  Without going into all the metaphors and symbolism that make real zombies horrifying, lets just say Fido deserves to be in the doghouse.

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Tube Snapping Jocks Bring Wigs Inside Batters Box.

Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.  So why show up with a lawyer that looks like he’s one of those Black Widow biker guys that lost all their hair to Philo Beddoe and then covered it with a 3 dollar wig.  Or does anybody else think Roger Clemens atty looks and sounds like Cowboys owner Jerry Jones (wearing a 3 dollar wig)?  I dont really care about Roids or Juice or HGH. But now these platitude spitting, arrogant jocks, are totally harshing my morning Sportcenter ‘tude  by taking this thing all the way to Uglywood DC.  I was intitally mildly insulted by the puffed up and thoroughly hollow indignancy  displayed by Clemens as he talked down to me, the constant  sports fan.I’m not even really a baseball fan, I’m a just a Marlins Fan, which means I don’t go to games. And if I watch on television, its usually late innings in a deciding game in which the Marlins have a shot to win the World Series. With that said,  I refuse to let some red-faced redneck with a furrowed brow stare me down as if I was inside the batters box.  I’m not. Roger Clemens and his Black Widow Wig wearing lawyer can’t berate me into feeling “embarrassed” or downgrade denegrade me into questioning what is and what is not an “asinine” question. I’m not an idiot. I didn’t have an Athletic Dept. helping me pass tests and  exams in college. I’ve never mistaken a broken baseball bat for a baseball and then thrown it at someone. I don’t care who took juice, hgh, cracked tubes or slathered themselves in unguents. I just don’t need to be downgraded talked down to by some red-faced hot head that made a name for himself by throwing baseballs passed people.