TOKYO GORE POLICE (trailer)

TRAILER: THE RUINS

Scott Smith’s novel was pretty good, not as good as the hype machine is saying it is. We will all go see it anyway. 
 
 

MOVIE OF THE DAY: CHRISTINE (1983)

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Remember your first car? Was her name Christine?  I doubt it if you are still reading this.  John Carpenter and his synthesizers  scared the piss out kids in this 1983 classic starring Keith Gordon, and John Stockwell.  It’s a pretty familiar story.  Kid buys a clunker car, kid fixes up car, car starts killing ALL THE SHITTERS!  The End.  John Stockwell went on to direct Turistas. Where is Keith Gordon now? Directing episodes of that sick fucker Dexter

REVIEW-SHUTTER (LOST IN TRANS-ASIAN)

Hollywood is running out of garbage to ripoff.  I guess if you haven’t seen the Ring, the Grudge, the Eye, Pulse, One Missed Call, Marebito, and about 11 dozen other JHorror originals and remakes then you might get into Shutter; furthermore, if you liked Lost in Translation you may like Shutter even more. <br> Its about a super cool young couple, he’s a fashion photographer, she’s really hot. Together, they fight ghosts. Seriously. They are fish out of water in Tokyo and then it really isnt very much like LIT. Maybe LIT would have been better if Murray had been a ghost, that remained in the hotel lounge after his death, and whenever people sang a certain Kareoke song, they died. Scarlet figures out the song, and uses her paranormal detective deduction skills to find the body of Murrays character under the stage, still holding the microphone. He just wanted to sing Star Wars. <br>  Forget it, that sucks, Murray would look stupid doing the reverse photography backwards walking played forewards thing, and would look even more pathetic with long straight strands of wet black hair covering his face. <br> Ok its The Ring with a camera instead of a videotape and its nowhere near as good as The Ring, its The Grudge without the “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” Combine that with two actors that probably auditioned for parts in Scream that they didn’t get, and you end up with a movie that should have gone direct to DVD. 

FIDO – MOVIE REVIEW

Let me start off by saying that I take zombies seriously and this film doesn’t take cellular reanimation seriously.  What do Zombies do? They come back to life and they eat people or brains to remain reanimated. So when a zombie film fails to answer basic questions like what and why, we are left with pseudo zombies like the ones in 28 Days Later, Resident Evil that are just undead for the sake of melodrama.  Everyone told me I had to see Fido. As a non zombie film its a cute movie, very clever, but lets be honest, its more closely related to George and Lenny from Mice and Men, then it is to George Romero, and its just not for me.  Without going into all the metaphors and symbolism that make real zombies horrifying, lets just say Fido deserves to be in the doghouse.