TOKYO GORE POLICE (trailer)

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Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies with One Million Signatures

SLASH FILM thinks a million signatures will get Uwe Boll to stop directing crappy video game movies. I don’t believe it. Didn’t Boll already kick some critics ass in the ring a while back. Vote-on Neckbeards.

read more | digg story

WHAT DID YOU MISS?

INSIDE (trailer) Bloody Disgusting YouTube

  • This looks pretty good, but those film school nerds have gotten very good at cutting great trailers for movies that really suck. Lets hope INSIDE doesn’t end up outside at a garage sale.

OMG HORROR -The 12 Most Painful Movie Castrations Ever

71273-6.jpg  Ask any man and they’ll tell you that mutilation of the male genitalia is no laughing matter. There is no danger to the human body that men fear more than losing their member. So we thought it’d be a good idea to run a feature all about this. If nothing else, at least you’ll know what films to avoid by reading this feature.read more | digg story

The Captain Jeff Show: Hog-Leg, Hog-Leg, Hog-Leg

20 Scariest Movies of All Time

ring.jpg EW.com  attempts to make a list of The 20 scariest movies. Too bad they make you visit 20 lame webpages to find out the list. Here is mine –

  •  #1. JAWS – Lets play a little game called swimming in the ocean at night. Wait, let me cue up the John Williams soundtrack on the boom box first.
  • #2.  THE RING – A videotape and a well. Oh shit, where did that puddle of water come from…
  • #3. THE EXORCIST – Were you Baptized?  What for? Oh thats right, your parents had you pre-exorcized just in case you were a demon from hell.
  • #4.  THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT – Hitchhiking, smoking weed, cutting off dicks, this film has got everything. If you find yourself too disturbed to maintain your sanity, then just repeat these four words – ITS ONLY A MOVIE until the medication works and you start to fall asleep, which leads to –
  • #5 A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – If you die in your sleep, you don’t wake up. One two, Freddy’s coming for you….