TOKYO GORE POLICE (trailer)

Uwe Boll Will Quit Making Movies with One Million Signatures

SLASH FILM thinks a million signatures will get Uwe Boll to stop directing crappy video game movies. I don’t believe it. Didn’t Boll already kick some critics ass in the ring a while back. Vote-on Neckbeards.

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WHAT DID YOU MISS?

• RUINS review – DREADCENTRAL
• Fulmer Cupdate – EDSBS
• HELLRAISER needs a director – BLOODY DISGUSTING
• MONSTER pond Snook – FS Forums 

INSIDE (trailer) Bloody Disgusting YouTube

• This looks pretty good, but those film school nerds have gotten very good at cutting great trailers for movies that really suck. Lets hope INSIDE doesn’t end up outside at a garage sale.

OMG HORROR -The 12 Most Painful Movie Castrations Ever

  Ask any man and they’ll tell you that mutilation of the male genitalia is no laughing matter. There is no danger to the human body that men fear more than losing their member. So we thought it’d be a good idea to run a feature all about this. If nothing else, at least you’ll know what films to avoid by reading this feature.read more | digg story

The Captain Jeff Show: Hog-Leg, Hog-Leg, Hog-Leg

20 Scariest Movies of All Time

 EW.com  attempts to make a list of The 20 scariest movies. Too bad they make you visit 20 lame webpages to find out the list. Here is mine –

•  #1. JAWS – Lets play a little game called swimming in the ocean at night. Wait, let me cue up the John Williams soundtrack on the boom box first.
• #2.  THE RING – A videotape and a well. Oh shit, where did that puddle of water come from…
• #3. THE EXORCIST – Were you Baptized?  What for? Oh thats right, your parents had you pre-exorcized just in case you were a demon from hell.
• #4.  THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT – Hitchhiking, smoking weed, cutting off dicks, this film has got everything. If you find yourself too disturbed to maintain your sanity, then just repeat these four words – ITS ONLY A MOVIE until the medication works and you start to fall asleep, which leads to –
• #5 A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET – If you die in your sleep, you don’t wake up. One two, Freddy’s coming for you….

TRAILER: THE RUINS

Scott Smith’s novel was pretty good, not as good as the hype machine is saying it is. We will all go see it anyway. 

 

 

MOVIE OF THE DAY: CHRISTINE (1983)

Remember your first car? Was her name Christine?  I doubt it if you are still reading this.  John Carpenter and his synthesizers  scared the piss out kids in this 1983 classic starring Keith Gordon, and John Stockwell.  It’s a pretty familiar story.  Kid buys a clunker car, kid fixes up car, car starts killing ALL THE SHITTERS!  The End.  John Stockwell went on to direct Turistas. Where is Keith Gordon now? Directing episodes of that sick fucker Dexter. 

Ten outrageously awesome film deaths

There’s really no way of knowing how much time we have on this planet. In the blink of an eye it could be over as quickly as it started. So when it’s time to leave this earth, I hope to go out in style like these guys did.read more | digg story